If you want closure, samsara’s not going to provide it. The only closure is to admit that the whole business is not okay and it’s time to get out. It’s only when you get out that you’re really free.

"You develop a sense of dispassion. Notice, dispassion’s not saying we’re going to kiss and make up and pretend that everything is okay. Things are not okay. That’s the underlying condition of samsara: It’s not okay. And if you want closure, samsara’s not going to provide it.

Part of the mind doesn’t like the idea that there are all these dangling ends that are not tied up. But our lives are nothing but dangling ends. How many dangling ends are left over from your previous lives, you have no idea. We’ve been going through samsara with lots of ends dangling. The only closure is to admit that the whole business is not okay and it’s time to get out. It’s only when you get out that you’re really free.

So when hurtful memories come up like this, remind yourself that as a meditator you now have new tools and a new identity: the person who’s mastered those tools. That changes the narrative and heads it toward the only point of genuine closure — nibbana — which no longer involves ill will, thoughts of getting back, or thoughts of settling scores. You get to a point where the scores don’t matter. And you realize that you really can’t tally up the scores, because how do you know when the period of the game began? You’re much better off getting out of the game entirely. And the Buddha shows you how."

~ Thanissaro Bhikkhu "The Solvent for Sticky Narratives"

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